I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen

The Baptists believe in the right to life before you’re born. They also believe in life after death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery in the hope of going to heaven when it’s over; it’s a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hopes of getting our money back at the end.
A. Whitney Brown

It must require an inordinate share of vanity and presumption too, after enjoying so much that is good and beautiful on earth, to ask the Lord for immortality in addition to it all.
Heinrich Heine

Millions long for immortality who do know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.
Woody Allen

Our current obsession with creativity is the result of our continued striving for immortality in an era when most people don’t believe in an afterlife.
Arianna Huffington

Posterity is just around the corner.
George S. Kaufman

Eternity’s a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it all going to end?
Tom Stoppard

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any the less exasperating than this one, have we?
Noel Coward

When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure that hell won’t be so bad at all.
Mark Twain