Anyone who thinks golf is fun is insane.

Frank Chirkinian


Golf: The are of using a flawed swing, a poor stance, and a weak grip to hit a small ball badly towards the wrong hole.

Henry Beard


I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope


Anyone can be a golf announcer. All you have to do is use that voice you use when you call in sick at work. “I won’t be coming in to work today.  I have a golf game to announce.”

Mike Rowe


The clothing and those words — “birdie” and “bogie.” How can a grown person play a game with those words?

Sebastian Junger


My best score is 103. But I’ve only been playing for fifteen years.

Alex Karras


Golf is a lot like writing. It’s exhilarating when you get it right and the rest of the time it’s torture.

Holly Brubach


Golf…is a pastime…retired people use to pass the time while they are waiting for death.

George Sanders


I like golf because you can really be terrible at itand still look not much dorkier than anyone else.

Dave Barry